September 2024
Relief. That’s exactly what I felt. I had known for months that this diagnosis was coming, but when it was finally confirmed, the validation was oddly comforting. It’s not the kind of news any parent hopes to receive, but it felt like a missing piece of our puzzle—a key to unlocking more resources for him. But then came the real question: Where do we go from here?
At first, nothing changed. We stuck to the status quo—like we’d all silently agreed to keep pretending everything was the same. Was I too busy? Maybe. Or maybe, deep down, I just needed time to pretend I didn’t have another mountain to climb. I froze. Taking the next steps felt like trying to start a marathon while still tying my shoes. A couple of weeks passed before I finally gathered the mental energy to dive into researching what was next.
When I finally dove into what opportunities this diagnosis might unlock for him, I felt both grateful and disappointed. Yes, there are plenty of resources for private education, specialized programs, and services like occupational and speech therapy. But the programs specifically designed to support children with Autism? Those are only available in the bigger cities—miles away from our small town—with no online or virtual options in sight.
Then, as if that weren’t enough, we learned that he wouldn’t qualify for the state scholarship unless he left public school, further limiting his access to support. We briefly discussed homeschooling—just a casual conversation that quickly turned into wild ideas like, “Who needs a second income or health insurance, right?” Spoiler: We do. It’s a huge shift for our family, and the thought of losing those resources is terrifying. On the other hand, homeschooling might provide him with a more tailored learning environment, free from the anxiety and aggression he often experiences at school.
Now, my initial relief has morphed into a strange mix of cautious excitement and full-blown panic. As we stand on the brink of this potentially life-altering decision, I can’t help but wonder: Are we doing the right thing?